2 new classes, thining about stabbing myself in the eye, lonely just like the first time.....

Today was a crazy day, after making the counselors actually earn their paycheck, I finally got the schedule I wanted, well sort of At first I enrolled into English fiction class, and then I found out that that was a bad idea, I had a feeling that was a bad idea anyway and I don't believe she wanted me in her class anyway. I got Econ back and I think it woulda been a whole lot easier than reading some booooooooooooring shit on what happen centuries ago, maybe if she gave us a cool book to read thatr actually took place in my lifetime, maybe a book on Lesbians or Mystery or Suspense. Now I'm happy and comfortable with my schedule. Next semester i'll be sure to get classes all in the morning, and all on the same day. Three days of Katie is cool. But I love that woman more & more, I think it's lust and love, she's got me hooked on her. She looks even hotter without makeup, which is crazy. Class starts in about 1 hour, I should be able to get my seat in back of the room, I had to get out of Mrs. Marsh class, my confidence couldn't take the hit. everybody already thinks I'm wierd and the lazyeye(s) just put the exclamation point, on the whole thing. It's not just 1 it's 2. Cosmetically it looks bad and it's an Emotional Rollercoaster on the way to depressville, i think this would make anybody depress, I don't know how I do it, go to class everyday and get my work done. I don't think my eye doctor did enough to help the situation, All he said was "you have amblyopia, and theirs nothing we can do about it" just like my lactoral duct, the thing when you can't produce tears, and I can't even cry, i haven't cried since forever and believe me I've had reasons to. I thought about stabbing both of my eyes, maybe then tey'll give me new ones. Nobody could understand wha I go through with this. It's a detriment to my life.