back from 3 month hibernation and fucked up eyeballs.

Well it's been a loooooooooooooooong time since, I've wrote a post, three months to be exact, but I'm back for another go around , this time for a whole year, yep you heard it here first, I'll be here from fall tilwell next fall. Hopefuly with a new set of eyeballs, you know the ones that look at one thing directly, instewad of one looking outward and one looking straight, it use to be just my right one now it's my left one, it's uncontrolling, something has to be done. It's ruining me,
I can't make any friends, I can't look people staight into the eye, and it's just getting worse and worse, it just keeps detiorating, just like my comfidence, what's a person to do, I've read some of the stories about the problems adults we're having and they seem just as fucked up as I do. Some days I wish I had four fingers on my left or right hand, I could compensate for that, but for this I can't. Making friends is imposssible, and I'm a likable person, I want to get to know other people, but this makes it impossible. I feel I need a new opthamologists, and maybe he can direct me to vision therapy. This world is a brutal place, people judged you before they know you, same thing I do, but in a funny way nothing serious. Today was the first day of human relations class and, I weas uncomfortable from the get go. And i'm sure I made my classmates uncomfortable as well, I guarantee on Thursday, they won't be sitting there. You can't blame them they don't know, but I would be happy if anybody just came up and asked me why do I keep doing that, and glady tell them I can't help it. I'm visually Fuckin Impaired. Visually Fuckin Impaired. I still get through but it's extremely difficult. What did I do to deserve this anyway? If only I had straight eyes, it would push my confidence to further heights, I would be able to sit anywhere in the classroom and socialize with the person next to me without regretting it later. But All I could do is continue thinking about that dream. Later..................