Unexpected happenings and my continuing fall from grace.

Today was just an ordinary day in english class for the first 30 minutes, then it happened! the teacher told us to get in groups, I thought cool, okay, I'll just work by myself like I always do, but NO! Didn't happen that way, she assigned groups, and out of all people she put the girl I've been raving about for the past couple of months in my group. I was as nervous as I've ever been in my entire life. She was right there, not even 3 inches from me, and I couldn't take it. She looked more beautiful up close, which made me more nervous. I eventually left the classroom for about 5 minutes, telling myself don't be an idiot, when I get back to the room, and I wasn't. I was my normal self again and just a little agtiated. I basically answered all the questions in my group becuause I was nervous and I had to do something to keep my nerves down, and thsi was it. My lazyeye was going beserk, but my good eye was focusing in on Tammy, (Finally found out her name) after almost 4 months of specualtion. I wonder what she thinks of me now? Probably I'm more of a dork than she expected. I don't like wokring in groups and this was the ultimate! I wonder did the teacher do that on purpose just to get back at me for not passing out the papers in class. She was probably going ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in her twisted brain. Overall I think I handled myself fairly well. Now the follow up, what do I do to duplicate the performance I put up today in class, do I speak to her in the hallway on Monday, hiya Tammy, Nice pants
i wanna get into them? Or do I just say nothing, like I do to everybody. Interesting! And just sit in the back and try to cover up my lazyeye by writing Ucontrollably like I always do, but doesn't work either. 2 more class meetings, no more English 101 and no more Tammy. I can deal with the English part and I have no control over that, but the other part I control my own destiny.

What do I do? I really like this girl, I mean I really really do. Even like her more after today. Today she was so close, but to me it still felt like a million miles away. I'm frustrated and angry at myself for being such a wierdo and a scraredy cat. But I always look at the negative of each situation. And that awlays seem to be the deciding factor in everything, and yeah that other thing on my face that has been without question the backbone of my problems. Waht makes it worse my vision continues to deteriorate and it just enhances the problem to such a high extent.